一年前- @ Monday, December 14, 2009
it's only hours away before the first snowflakes fall into seattle, and here i am in bed, looking back to how christmas was last year.
oh, how dull it was back in december 2008. caged in by the same four white walls day in and day out. felt so imprisonated, yet i wasn't exactly physically restrained. it was more of the psychological barriers that kept me in there. sunlight peeked in time to time from the white blinds on my bedroom's window, yet the air remained cold. and still. snow fell, and time went by slowly. my only form of entertainment? the laptop, the tv, cherie and dina's dog.
i wanted to be out. i wanted to visit my cousins down in san francisco. i wanted to go back to indonesia and be with my family. i wanted to be out shopping. i wanted to hang out with my friends.
yet day turned into night, and night turned into day. i was only waiting for time to pass quickly. slept in more. surfed through facebook more. played the same old alternative rock songs over and over on iTunes that i already memorized the tunes and the lines. watched re-runs of the same old reality shows. trapped myself in a delusional world where everything was kept simple. i did my best to make my day through.
i envied the people who posted pictures of their holiday trips on facebook. i envied the people who are hanging out somewhere at somebody's house. i envied the people who walked past me at Fred Meyer's cos i knew they had friends and family to go to. i envied the people who were out there shopping. i wanted to be like them too.
that's why i'm glad this christmas is different. after three whole years, i'm finally feeling the christmas spirit that everyone else feels around this time of the year. and it feels good. thanks love♥
with love-
