2009's wrap-up. @ Wednesday, December 30, 2009
2009 has indeed been a year of change for me. let's see where i was beginning of last year.
... scanning through old blog...
oh, there i was, sitting on my bed with cherie, watching the fireworks from the tv in my room. was it snowing outside? i can't really tell, but i'll assume it was. i don't remember the snow clearing up until early january anyway. hmm, let me take a look at my resolutions at the beginning of this year.
1. i wanna be more organized. DONE! ever since i graduated, i found more free time to tidy up my stuff. and i guess the whole college-kid-mess thing was over too, since there's not as many papers for me to toss around my room anymore.
2. i wanna look better. DONE! well, at least i feel like i'm more fashionable now, i learned how to curl my hair and am taking better care of my skin.
so i guess unlike most people who don't fulfill their resolutions, i fulfilled mine this time :D
now, scanning forward... time frame: somewhere between february and march 2009. ah, another fight with my ex over the same old things again. what he'll do when he goes back to indo, how i hated him being so idle and directionless in life, etc. every week, same ol' fight. i prayed to God that he'd do something about it, cos i was sick of facing the same problems everyday. i thought, it was his life i was worrying about, and yet it seemed like i worried about his life more than he did. perhaps God, You can do something about this. anything, Lord. just do it Your way, i prayed.
and perhaps, God does work in ways we cannot fathom. instead of letting me fix the mess, he pulled me out of it, and gave me someone better. for once in my whole life, i found someone who, in a way, i don't have to fix. come to think about it, my first boyfriend was a mess. lazy, poor, no direction in life, rebellious... i felt like i needed to "fix" his life. so was my second. different case from my first, but also depressed, no purpose in life. but perhaps it took me two relationships to make me realize that, i'm not the one who has to fill up someone else's holes. that's not a woman's role in a real relationship.
now, fasting forward to today, i've finally grown to be somebody i was not in the beginning of the year. remember how i did not know what my life'd be like five years from now? ask me the same question now, and i can answer you better. i'm happier now, i'm more capable. i'm working, and... i'm still in seattle. for a reason and a purpose. maybe, this has just been God's plan all along.
i wonder what 2010 will bring for me. :) hope it'll be filled with more blessings from the Lord.
with love-
